Being an only child has many perks, mostly that all the birthday cake is mine. But having an older sister would've been handy when starting high school. In particular when it came to learning about girl stuff, like makeup.
This particularly didn't hit home until I was 13. Having just started high school and being subjected to scrutiny by my all girl education, I found myself becoming self conscious about many things. My height, skin colour, lack of body parts etc. But a sore point I didn't see coming was beauty. And I don't mean Learn to love yourself I mean wearing makeup, buying brands other than Lip Smackers, learning what the difference was between concealer and foundation. All of a sudden the girls I had grown up with came to school with bigger eyes, plump lips and faces that were a different colour to their necks.
That was then, and although my confusion towards makeup use hasn't changed much, my attitude towards it has.
Years ago, I used makeup to hide imperfections, impress the opposite sex and turn myself into the beauty ideal. And though these are still relevant, they are much less so now that I have discovered that makeup can be so much more than that. So in my fierce attempt to tell myself that I use makeup out of choice and not out of some standard imposed on me by the feminine ideal, I made a list of the brands I use, along with why I do so:
Versace perfume for my body because the Italians have it figured out
Aēsop cleanser for my skin because a goddess is created not born
Fructose shampoo for my hair so that when I turn from my adversary they’re left with a reminder
MAC mascara for my lashes so they do the talking for me
Benefit eyeliner for my eyes because the 60’s pin up girls fought for what I am now
Adidas shoes for my feet because comfort is important when embarking on a journey
Tom Ford lipstick for my lips because a man should promote self confidence
Victoria Secret garments for under my clothes, because sex is a quality evoked through sensuality.
So aside from being a lot of fun to use, makeup taught me to look my best because I want to. Because it makes me feel like I can take on the day knowing that my confidence is well and truly in tact.