In the land down under, where our Christmas is hot and June’s Wintery wrath is well underway, it has recently turned Autumn. This means different things to everyone. For me? Birthday time! For others it means golden sidewalks, shorter days, scarf weather and that awkward transition your wardrobe goes through when you try to mix sweaters with shorts.
About a week ago I was struck with the rare urge to clean my bedroom. And when I say clean I don't just mean wiping down my surfaces and vacuuming the back of my bed. I mean i purged the hell out of my room. And during this windex fuelled sporadic episode I came across a note book.
Said note book is actually the very first one I owned that wasn't for scholarly purposes. This note book was purchased for creative reasons.
I was 13 at the time (give or take) and it was when I discovered my love of words was not shared by everyone, that I decided to take matters into my own hands and start a journal.
Now, you may be wondering why this post is titled “Hello April” when I haven't mentioned anything about the 4th month. But hear me out.
Upon opening my now ten year old journal (pause for effect) the first entry I had made was a poem. And it was titled “April and May.” It’s a short little thing, only about seven stanzas long. A classic rhyming poem full of teen angst and sadness. But I noticed something about my retrospective self. I was writing about the way these two months of the year made me feel the saddest I had the entire year. And whether that was to do with the weather, the fact that my birthday was looming, or just because it meant that the year was moving too fast, I was sad nonetheless.
I think now that I look back I can attribute that sadness to the gloom that settled over my days as a child. The school year was getting harder, the sun was never out for more than a few hours, and I never felt like getting out of bed. So it’s no wonder these months rendered me a moody mess.
And this pattern continued all the way through high school and even through university. But now, as I stood in my bedroom clutching this tattered, faded, crinkled note book, I found myself smiling. Because right now it is April, and I have never felt happier. I welcome the cold with open arms and a zipped coat. I wave hello at the chilly breeze and beckon the grey clouds. Because now I have grown, I have become someone who doesn't need to be afraid of April or May.
I have grown.
Hello Autumn, my old friend.